Interval Act From The Travelling Bilberries Concert

Discussion in 'Stories & Tales' started by Simbo, Aug 24, 2014.

  1. Simbo Bandmaster of the Songburrow Strollers

    Hullo!

    Here is the interval act I performed at the Travelling Bilberries Concert on the 24th August....

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    Hullo everyone!
    Now, we hobbits are simple folk
    Indeed, there are only two types of hobbit in the Shire
    There are those that fear and dread Lobelia
    And there is Lobelia...

    Also, it's nice to see some dwarves here today
    Hobbits can be suspicious of dwarves, but I remember what my old Pa use to say
    He said "Before you criticise a dwarf, you should walk a hundred miles in their boots"
    "That way, you are a hundred miles away, and have their boots"

    Anyway, it is time for a silly poem!

    Oh, here's a silly little ode
    It won't take long before it's told
    Although, if I can make so bold
    I hope it'll raise a smile

    I'm not quite sure what's its about
    You'll all just have to work it out
    But I can say without a doubt
    It'll end in just a while

    Indeed, this is the final part
    It barely had a chance to start
    And like a useless broken cart
    The last line doesn't rhyme

    The End!

    I get my love of poetry from my Pa
    I was told he was a bard in the inns the Shire
    No, wait, I got that wrong
    My Ma said he was "barred from all the inns of the Shire"
    Liked a bit too much to drink, he did.

    Oh well, I had perhaps stick to doing some of those "Limericks" instead
    Here's a small selection for you!

    There once was a farmer called Pete
    Who hated his very small feet
    But he certainly knew
    Why his crops always grew
    So he stood in some dung for a week

    There once was a lad with a hat
    And a very tall pointed one at that
    And when put of the ground
    All folk would then frown
    For they then had to watch where they sat

    The was a small lad from Little Delving
    Who wrote odes to putting up shelving
    He had quite a hard time
    To think of a rhyme
    For nothing else rhmyes with shelving
    Apart from Delving...

    I've seen giants that reach to the sky
    And dragons that learnt how to fly
    But still nothing can beat
    What I saw last week
    A pink oliphant that's juggling pies

    Now for some jokes!

    What do you call a grumpy old hobbit who likes waving his stick at folk.
    Anything you like, just make sure you are out of reach of his stick!

    What did the catfish say when it swam into a wall?
    Dam!

    What did the bounder say when they walked into a bar?
    Ouch!

    What did the bounder say when he walked past the Inn without stopping?
    Err... I am not actually sure, because such a thing never happens

    And how many bounders does it take to fix a broken fence?
    What? Are you mad? Bounders do some actually work?!

    How do you make a sausage roll?
    Push it!

    What do you call a hobbit lad with a plank on his head?
    Ed-wood!

    What do you call a hobbit lass who can juggle with a glass of ale on her head?
    Beer-tricks!
    (Beatrix)

    I am glad you found the jokes funny
    When I told Peppy I was going to tell some jokes, he laughed at me!
    Well, he's not laughing now.....

    I did a silly short poem at the start
    Now it's time for a sensible short poem to finish off with!
    It's an old one you've probably heard the best
    The old ones are the best, after all
    Apart from Lobelia

    The Mayor, he built a large Town Hall
    He thought that big was best of all
    By folk preferred is was built small
    For small is beautiful

    Just look at Hobbits all around
    The smallest folk that can be found
    Some old, some young, some thin, some round
    Yet all are beautiful

    This poem too, is none the worse
    For having just the three short verse
    You rarely need so many words
    For small is beautiful
    Akelay, Tibba, Nimelia and 2 others like this.
  2. Rubellita Member

    Don't take my word for it that Master Simbo was great!

    See for yourself:
    The Traveling Bilberries in Concert - 2014 - Master Simbo Part
    http://www.twitch.tv/barafunda/c/4979139

    This link may not work anymore in the future but should be good for 14 days at least.
    Lully, Tibba and Patula like this.
  3. Patula Member

    You are quite the comedian!
    Great to see it in action there Rubellita, for me who has missed it! Thanks
  4. Tibba Voluntary Assistant Chief

    Yes, it was grand to watch it, thank you for the link, Rubellita. And very funny, Master Simbo! *cheers*
  5. Akelay Member

    Wonderful! I especially love the small poem with the last line that does not rhyme!
    Lully likes this.

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